Why It’s Not Common for Men to Receive Help When They Need It

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), only about 17.8% of men ages 18 to 44 received mental health support in 2021, while 28.6% of women in the same age group did. This difference highlights a real gap between the number of men dealing with mental health challenges and those who actually seek therapy.

Stigma around men in therapy continues to be a major barrier. Stigma can make it harder for men to reach out, even when they are struggling. This topic is important because the effects of stigma go beyond the individual—they shape families, workplaces, and entire communities.

At Immersive Recovery in Encinitas, California, the unique challenges men face when asking for mental health support are recognized. The aim is to provide understanding, privacy, and a path forward for those who are ready to take their mental health seriously.

This article will explore why stigma exists, how masculine expectations play a role, what research says about generational change, and what steps men can take if they are considering therapy.

Understanding the Stigma Around Men in Therapy

a man talking to a therapist during therapy

Men’s mental health stigma refers to the negative attitudes or beliefs about men who seek therapy for mental health issues. This stigma comes from both outside sources—such as social judgment or criticism—and from within, through self-judgment or feelings of shame.

Recent statistics show that men are less likely than women to seek therapy. National surveys find that just under one in five men seek professional help when facing mental or emotional distress, compared to nearly one in three women. This gap exists across all age groups but is most pronounced in men over 50.

  • Social expectations: Many societies expect men to be stoic, independent, and able to handle problems on their own
  • Cultural messaging: Media, movies, and television often send the message that asking for help is a sign of weakness for men
  • Generational differences: Research shows younger men are slowly becoming more open to therapy, while older generations may still carry strong beliefs about masculinity and self-reliance

Understanding these factors helps explain why the gap between men experiencing mental health concerns and those seeking therapy remains so wide.

Why Masculine Norms Prevent Men From Seeking Help

Traditional masculine therapy approaches often conflict with how many men view themselves. Masculine therapy refers to the belief that therapy should fit with traditional male ideals—such as being strong, silent, and self-reliant. Research shows that these ideals often conflict with the process of seeking help, which involves sharing emotions and asking for support.

Studies describe this as “gender role conflict,” which happens when the expectations for how men are “supposed” to act make it harder for them to reach out or express distress. Many men have learned from a young age that showing vulnerability or talking about feelings is not considered “manly,” making therapy seem uncomfortable or even off-limits. This creates several barriers, including:

  • Fear of appearing weak: Men worry that seeking help will make them look less capable or strong
  • Difficulty expressing emotions: Years of being told to “man up” can make it hard to identify and share feelings
  • Preference for action over talk: Many men prefer solving problems through action rather than discussion

Common Reasons Men Finally Start Counseling for Men

Turning points often prompt men to begin counseling for men, even after waiting through long periods of distress. Research shows that men are less likely than women to seek therapy, but specific life events or ongoing challenges can be strong motivators.

Sudden Life Changes

Major life changes such as divorce, losing a job, or receiving a serious health diagnosis often serve as starting points for counseling for men. These events disrupt routines and support systems, leading many men to reach out for professional help. Data from the American Psychological Association indicates that after a divorce, the likelihood of a man seeking therapy nearly doubles within the first year.

Long-term stress or anxiety can build up over time, eventually becoming difficult to ignore. Symptoms such as headaches, sleep problems, stomach issues, or chronic fatigue often prompt men to look for answers through counseling for men. Studies show that when physical health is affected, men are more likely to take their mental health seriously and seek support.

Encouragement from partners, family members, or close friends is a common reason men start counseling for men. Many men report that they were prompted to try therapy after concerns were raised by loved ones. According to relationship counseling surveys, more than half of men who attend therapy for the first time do so after receiving encouragement from their spouse or family.

Does Therapy Work for Men with Co-Occurring Conditions?

men in therapy

The question “Does therapy work for men?” comes up often, especially when substance use disorders and mental health issues happen at the same time. These situations are called co-occurring conditions, which means a person is dealing with both a problem like alcohol or drug addiction and a mental health issue such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Evidence-based approaches are the standard in these cases. Evidence-based means the therapy methods have been proven effective in scientific studies. Common therapies that work well for men include:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps men identify and change unhelpful thoughts and behaviors
  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Teaches skills for managing emotions and handling stress
  • Motivational Interviewing: Helps men find their own reasons for making changes

Studies show that therapy does work for men with co-occurring conditions when both issues are addressed at the same time. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, integrated treatment leads to higher recovery rates and lower relapse rates than treating one issue alone.

Practical Steps to Start Men’s Counseling

Men’s counseling can involve some unique considerations, especially for those who have never been to therapy before. The process can be broken down into three main steps.

Research Specialized Providers

Therapists who work with men often have training in issues such as masculinity, emotional expression, relationship dynamics, and substance use. These professionals may describe their approach as “male-friendly,” “men’s issues,” or “gender-sensitive.” When looking for a provider, check profiles, websites, or directories for experience with men’s mental health.

Mental health services are often covered by health insurance, but coverage varies. Checking with an insurance provider can confirm which therapists or programs are in-network and what out-of-pocket costs exist. Some therapists offer sliding scale fees, which adjust the cost based on income.

An initial assessment is a private conversation with a mental health professional that includes questions about current concerns, symptoms, history, and goals. Privacy is protected by law, and sessions are held in confidential settings. Participating in an assessment does not require a commitment to ongoing therapy.

How Therapy Helps Men’s Emotional Well-Being

Men in therapy often experience several measurable improvements in emotional health. Research consistently shows that therapy can help men better understand themselves, manage stress, and build stronger relationships.

Improved Communication Skills

Therapy helps men build a vocabulary for their emotions. Many men are socialized to keep feelings hidden or to describe emotions in vague terms. Through therapy, men practice naming feelings like anger, sadness, or anxiety, rather than using general terms like “fine” or “stressed.”

This increased emotional literacy can lead to more effective conversations with partners, family members, and colleagues. Men who participate in therapy often report being able to explain how they feel and what they need, which can reduce misunderstandings and conflict.

Men in therapy learn techniques for managing stress, such as mindfulness in recovery, breathing exercises, and structured problem-solving. Cognitive behavioral therapy and similar approaches teach men to recognize patterns of negative thinking and replace them with more balanced thoughts.

Studies have found that men who attend therapy regularly report lower levels of stress and anxiety. Techniques like progressive muscle relaxation and guided imagery are often part of this process.

Therapy can help men examine and address underlying issues that contribute to low self-esteem or self-doubt. By exploring past experiences, relationships, and self-perceptions, men can challenge negative beliefs about themselves.

This process can result in greater confidence and a more positive self-image. Studies link improvements in confidence with greater satisfaction in daily life, stronger relationships, and increased motivation to achieve personal goals.

Men in Therapy FAQs

How do I know if I need therapy as a man?

Some signs that therapy may be helpful include noticeable mood changes that last for weeks, trouble in relationships, using alcohol or substances to cope, or struggling to complete daily responsibilities like work or school.

Common evidence-based therapies for men with addiction include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and dual-diagnosis treatment that addresses both substance use and mental health conditions at the same time.

Therapy sessions are confidential, which means information shared is protected by law except in rare cases such as safety concerns. Some people choose telehealth appointments or look for private facilities that focus on discretion for added privacy.

The first session usually involves a conversation about your background, current concerns, and what you hope to achieve. This session is focused on building trust and understanding your needs, rather than immediately exploring difficult emotions.

A Path Forward for Lasting Recovery and Health

a senior man talking to a therapist

Overcoming stigma about men in therapy involves understanding that traditional masculine norms have shaped attitudes toward help-seeking and emotional expression. Research indicates that many men have been taught to value self-reliance and stoicism, which can delay or prevent them from seeking support when facing mental health challenges or substance use concerns.

Seeking help is associated with resilience and self-awareness, rather than weakness. Multiple studies have highlighted that men who reach out for support are taking an active step toward improving their well-being and relationships.

Approaches to men’s mental health at Immersive Recovery in Encinitas, CA, are informed by evidence-based practices that focus on privacy, respect, and individualized care. Programs are designed to address both mental health and substance use, while also considering the unique pressures and expectations that men may face. With the right support, men engaging in therapy gain opportunities to build new skills, strengthen relationships, and experience greater satisfaction in daily life. For help starting your journey, please contact our admissions team.

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